Dymphna Lanjuran's Key Ideas from The Let Them Theory
by Mel Robbins

Key Message: Every time you react to drama or negativity, you drain your energy.

Example: Instead of trying to defend yourself against gossip, Robbins encourages saving your energy for what truly matters.

Tip: Use the mantra: “I choose peace over proving myself.”

Key Message: While you let others do what they want, you must also allow yourself to live freely.

Example: “Let them” stay stuck in their patterns, while “let me” pursue growth and clarity.

Tip: Make a “Let Me” list - what you allow yourself to enjoy, choose, and feel.

Key Message: Letting people go doesn’t mean you don’t care - it means you respect boundaries.

Example: Robbins shares her own experience of choosing distance from toxic family dynamics while maintaining love.

Tip: Journal the difference between healthy detachment and emotional coldness.

Key Message: When you stop needing others to like you, you become more aligned with your truth.

Example: Robbins turned down an overwhelming request for help by saying no - without guilt.

Tip: Say “no” with grace: “That doesn’t work for me right now.”

Key Message: Trying to be everything to everyone is the fast track to burnout.

Example: Mel recalls a moment when she changed how she spoke to appeal to others - only to feel disconnected from herself.

Tip: Ask: “Who am I when no one is watching?” Be that person.

Key Message: You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your dreams, boundaries, or healing.

Example: When Mel began her career pivot, many didn’t get it. She let them judge - and kept going.

Tip: Repeat: “I don’t need to be understood to be at peace.”

Key Message: The people who walk away aren’t meant to stay. That’s their path, not your failure.

Example: Robbins emphasizes the power of not chasing people who’ve chosen to exit your life.

Tip: Celebrate exits as space for alignment: “I’m making room for those who are meant for me.”

Key Message: You can’t control others, but you can always control how you respond.

Example: After a public criticism, Robbins chose calm silence over public rebuttal.

Tip: Pause and breathe before reacting. Ask: “Will this matter in a year?”

Key Message: Letting them go is ultimately about trusting yourself deeply.

Example: The “let them” philosophy helped Robbins reconnect with her own voice and confidence.

Tip: Write down 5 times you made the right decision even when others disagreed.