How To Win Friends and Influence People - Deepstash
How To Win Friends and Influence People

Michael Kim's Key Ideas from How To Win Friends and Influence People
by Dale Carnegie

Ideas, facts & insights covering these topics:

20 ideas

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Part 1: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

Don't criticize, condemn, or complain.

Give honest and sincere appreciation.

Arouse in the other person an eager want.

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Criticism only puts people on the defensive and often leads to resentment. People crave appreciation, not condemnation. Carnegie stresses the importance of understanding others rather than judging them.

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122 reads

Everyone wants to feel important. A genuine compliment or recognition can go a long way. Insincere flattery, however, is transparent and manipulative.

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Show people how what you’re suggesting benefits them. Instead of focusing on your desires, frame everything in terms of what the other person wants and how they can get it.

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99 reads

Part 2: Six Ways to Make People Like You

Become genuinely interested in other people.

Smile.

Remember that a person’s name is, to that person, the sweetest sound in any language.

Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.

Make the other person feel important—and do it sincerely.

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95 reads

Show authentic curiosity. Ask questions. Be excited about their passions and stories.

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89 reads

A simple smile can change the tone of a conversation. It’s a universal sign of friendliness.

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Remembering and using people’s names builds rapport and shows respect.

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People love to talk about themselves. Listen actively and make them feel heard.

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Frame discussions around what matters to them. This builds connection and relevance.

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Validate others. Make them feel seen and valued, not in a manipulative way but with genuine attention and empathy.

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Part 3: How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking (1)

Avoid arguments.

Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say “you’re wrong.”

If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.

Begin in a friendly way.

Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.

Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.

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76 reads

Part 3: How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking (2)

Let the other person feel the idea is theirs.

Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.

Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.

Appeal to nobler motives.

Dramatize your ideas.

Throw down a challenge.

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75 reads

Even if you "win," you lose in terms of relationships. Persuasion is better than confrontation.

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People resist change when they feel attacked. Agree where you can, and gently lead them to new conclusions.

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Owning your mistakes disarms others and builds trust.

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Kindness opens doors. Starting with warmth puts others in a receptive mindset.

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Start with things you agree on to create momentum and harmony.

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Let them express their ideas and take ownership of the conversation.

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People are more invested in ideas they helped develop.

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66 reads

IDEAS CURATED BY

Curious about different takes? Check out our How To Win Friends and Influence People Summary book page to explore multiple unique summaries written by Deepstash users.

Different Perspectives Curated by Others from How To Win Friends and Influence People

Curious about different takes? Check out our book page to explore multiple unique summaries written by Deepstash curators:

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