Concentrating on things you keep under control helps transform your attitude towards uncontrolled situations and cope with things you can’t change.

Focus on things you can control

To listen with empathy, rephrase what the other person has said and ask them to confirm whether you have represented their intention correctly.

Practice empathic listening

Question your habits, hobbies, addictions, and beliefs to ensure that they move you toward your goal in life.

Rethink your lifestyle

Paying more attention to developing qualities like humility, integrity, courage, and empathy will affect how you relatewith others and how they perceive you.

Develop your character

Ask yourself: “What do I want in life? Where do I see myself in 5-15 years?”Your answers will help you in making life decisions.

Craft a personal mission statement

Do not give unsolicited advice. Wait for the conversation to lead to the point where the other party asks for your advice.

Never give advice unless asked

You bring more power into your life when you learn to take responsibility and work to achieve better outcomes.

Take responsibility

Make sure your dream is big enough to inspire you to take action. Remove self-doubt from your life.

Eliminate doubts

Be proactive: respond to external circumstancesFocus on result: visualize your outcome before taking actionPut first things first: schedule your priorities

Habits to develop character ethic

Think Win-Win: pursue profitable outcomes for you and your partnersListen first, then speak: pay attention to emotions, verbal and nonverbal communicationSynergize: build teams where the whole is more than the sum of separate parts

Habits to improve the quality of relationships

<ol><li>Determine your wishes, goals and tools to achieve them</li><li>Create a mind map of where you see yourself at a set time in the future</li><li>In your relationships, seek outcomes that allow you and others to win</li></ol>

Techniques to achieve your goals

A leading management consultant outlines seven organizational rules for improving effectiveness and increasing productivity at work and at home.

productivity

Productivity

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

habits

Habits

communication

Communication

The 7 habits of highly effective people is recognised as one of the most influential books ever written. In this seminal work, Stephen R. Covey presents a holistic, integrated, principle-centred approach for solving personal and professional problems. With penetrating insights and pointed anecdotes, Covey reveals a step-by-step pathway for living with fairness, integrity, honesty and human dignity -- principles that give us the security to adapt to change, and the wisdom and power to take advantage of the opportunities that change creates. The 7 Habits have become so famous because they work. From Habit 1: Be Proactive and Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind, millions of People have worked their way through the 7 and found in them a key to transforming their lives. This book has been the key to the success of legions of business leaders and individuals the world over.

Stephen R. Covey is an accomplished writer whose work has resonated with readers around the world. Stephen R. Covey has published several books that explore a range of topics, from fiction to nonfiction, and has received critical acclaim for the ability to weave compelling narratives. Stephen R. Covey's writing style is known for its depth and authenticity, and has earned quite a loyal following of readers.

Stephen R. Covey

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

<ul><li>Batman is known for his code: Batman does not kill. Why? </li><li>First, Batman does not want to become a murderer.</li><li> He once said that if he kills somebody, the number of criminals will stay the same, implying that killing will not differentiate him from other criminals. </li><li>stoics believe that even a single person can make a difference. </li><li>Batman, therefore, believes even the worst criminal can change and become a righteous person.</li><li> He will always give his enemies an opportunity to change their minds and restore their lives.</li></ul>

Batman and Stoicism

<ul><li>He demonstrates his courage by standing up against crime and sacrificing the comforts he might had. </li><li>Batman’s temperance is one of his most known qualities.</li><li>Batman’s sense of justice is the most profound aspect of his philosophy.</li><li> It does not matter the situation, Batman puts his emotions aside and is the one who focuses his energies on thinking critically and logically</li></ul>

The 4 Principles 

<ul><li>Batman understands that there is a fine line between good and evil </li><li>Batman, as a stoic character, understands that acts have no way to be judged, but the person’s intentions to commit it.</li></ul>Batman is brutal, and criminals are scared not to get killed but of getting injured the way Batman hurts the people he fights.

Batman’s Morality

Working under pressure and endurance of pain or hardship without the display of feelings and complaints are qualities well valuable nowadays. They are, sometimes, even requirements for job…

philosophy

Philosophy

problemsolving

Problem Solving

The Philosophy of Batman

Before you can move on from a relationship, you’ll need to give yourself however much time and space is necessary to get to a place of acceptance. <ul><li>Even though it may not have worked out the way you wanted, accepting that the relationship was limited and is over is very important.  So even if it seems to be taking a long time – and you’re tired of taking two steps forward, then one step back – be gentle with yourself during the process.</li><li> If you catch yourself harboring fantasies of getting back together, just smile at yourself and turn those visions off. </li><li>Accept that this chapter of your life has<warningtag> closed and tell yourself you’ll be better off by moving on. </warningtag></li></ul>

Move forward after a breakup: Accept the situation

Maybe one day the two of you can be friends again, but now is not the time. Your heart is still freshly wounded and seeing or contacting him will only make things worse. Keeping your distance is vital for the healing process to not only begin but to become complete.<ul><li>If some of his belongings are still at your place, have a friend, relative or roommate stay home when he comes to pick them up so you don’t have to see him. If you need to retrieve items from his place, send a friend to do the deed. </li><li>Resist the urge to call, text or email him to see how he’s doing or to find out if he thinks the two <warningtag>of you made a huge mistake by breaking up. Keeping in contact with him now may leave you hoping he’s thinking about getting back together.</warningtag><warningtag> </warningtag></li></ul>

Move forward after a breakup: Distance yourself

In the beginning, you’ll probably need to get everything off your chest by talking about the breakup with friends and relatives. That’s healthy. Go ahead and get it all out. Bottling up emotions is not conducive to moving on, and can be downright unhealthy..Once you’ve let it all out, try to stop talking about him. If you don’t, your friends may start avoiding your company. Talk about something else – or better yet, let your friends talk instead. They might not say so, but they’ll welcome the reprieve.

Move forward after a breakup: Stop talking about it

While it’s tempting to play the blame game after a breakup, it won’t help you. Going over and over hurtful scenarios only keeps you focused on negative emotions. So close the book on that chapter of your life and focus on figuring out how to move on. Resist the urge to blame yourself, the other person, or anyone else (your meddling parents, his annoying friends) for what went wrong in the relationship. Accept that fact and move on to something better.

Move forward after a breakup: Skip the blame game

Part of learning how to move on after a break-up is learning from your experience. This includes the break-up itself as well as your entire relationship. Ask yourself what words or behaviors you’d want to repeat in the future, and which things you aren’t proud of yourself for saying or doing. Think about what was great about the relationship, what wasn’t so great, and what led to the demise of the relationship.

Move forward after a breakup: Learn from it

Picture yourself completely over your ex. This may take some time, but keep working at it until the picture of your new life is truly in focus. Then enjoy feeling that sense of pride and accomplishment for getting over him and moving on.

Move forward after a breakup: Picture yourself getting over it

Make sure you give yourself plenty of time to focus on yourself before beginning another relationship. Do something just for you and give yourself some time to connect with your inner self. <ul><li>Spend some quality time with close friends and family members. </li><li>Take up a hobby, volunteer somewhere, or take a class. </li><li>Keep yourself busy, but be careful that you don’t overload on activities just to distract yourself from your ex. </li><li>That will make your “downtime” seem even more painful. </li><li>Do something to boost your self-esteem, which has likely taken a bit of a beating since the breakup. Get a new haircut, for <warningtag>example.</warningtag></li></ul>

Move forward after a breakup: Focus on yourself 

If you haven’t gone out to a social event since the break-up, now is the time. This doesn’t mean you should pick up the first cute guy you spot at a bar, but you’ll feel better if you get dressed up and put yourself out in the world to socialize and meet new people. But don’t go someplace where you’re bound to run into him – pick someplace new!

Move forward after a breakup: Get out there! 

Figuring out how to move on after a break-up doesn’t mean going overboard with excessive socializing, meeting hundreds of new people, and flirting up a storm with every man you meet. Just relax, go slow and enjoy yourself.

Move forward after a breakup: Take it nice and slow

Not every person is like the one you just broke up with – and not every relationship will be like that one, especially if you learn how to move on in a healthy way by learning from your mistakes. Your previous relationship broke up for a reason, so open your mind, broaden your horizons, and look for a new kind of relationship that will be different and way better than what you had before.

Move forward after a breakup: Don’t generalize and don’t compare

Feeling stuck in life? How to actually move forward

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Love & Relationships

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Mental Health

Ways to Move Forward When You're Feeling Stuck

How To Move On, 10 Steps For Post-Break Up Closure. Browse hundreds of free women’s articles and more at LifeScript.com.

How To Move On: 10 Steps For Closure After You Break Up

How To Move Forward After A Breakup

Emotional maturity is the number one most important thing in relationships, the number one skill set we can work on to get great ones, and the number one most important thing to a happy and effective life. Contrary to some misconceptions, emotional maturity is not about “self-mastery,” or self-development. Mature people may pursue these, but they have nothing to do with emotional maturity. Someone can be ambitious and hard-working, yet still lack any semblance of emotional maturity.

The number one sign of emotional maturity is taking responsibility for ourselves. Emotional maturity doesn't mean having all the answers or being the wisest person in the room. To be emotionally mature is to have the <a href="https://www.yourtango.com/self/feel-more-in-control">ability to control one's responses to a situation </a>— to take a step back and consider what caused it, its context, who the key players were, what motivations prompted their actions, the fallout and how it impacted those who were affected, and having a "bigger picture" perspective in general to be able to assess overall what emotional energy is useful and worth spending under the circumstances.

What is emotional maturity?

“Responsibility has to do with the choices you make about how to think, feel and act about reality.” — <a href="https://www.rogerkallen.com/how-to-become-emotionally-mature/">Roger K. Allen, PhD </a>

Our mistakes, our emotions, our needs, and our wants — all of these are valid and worth taking into consideration, and an emotionally mature individual absolutely does this, while also being thoughtful and intentional about expressing their feelings and responses to the unpredictabilities life continually puts in our paths without getting carried away and thrown by the wayside. If you read and absorb nothing else, just make it this: the most important thing is taking responsibility.

This is not the same as blaming ourselves — <a href="https://www.yourtango.com/2015278843/7-signs-someone-you-love-has-major-martyr-victim-complex">being a martyr </a>is equally emotionally immature. The solution is simply to ask ourselves, “what can do to fix this?” or “what can I do differently?” It’s understanding the difference between what we control (only ourselves) and what we don’t (other people.)

“It’s far easier to get defensive and deny responsibility, or become overwhelmed with shame for our act of imperfection or ignorance. Being able to acknowledge when we’re in the wrong takes humility, self-compassion and courage.” — <a href="https://meganbruneau.com/">Megan Bruneau, Psychotherapist and Executive Coach </a>

1. The ability to recognize and admit when you're wrong.

Emotionally mature people “spend zero time blaming others for their problems. They take accountability for their actions as a way to further learn and grow. Life and life’s circumstances, at the end of the day, have to be dealt with from our own will and volition, and admitting wrong is woven deeply into the fabric of mature people because they view humility and admitting wrong as steps up the mountain, not steps going backward. The mature person is able to understand that life is what they make it. That every person’s destiny is within their choice.

Those with maturity live life making conscious decisions knowing that whatever the result is, they are the one’s responsible.” — <a href="https://www.entrepreneur.com/living/9-practices-for-achieving-emotional-maturity/282654">Sherrie Campbell, Psychologist, Author, Speaker </a>“Responsibility has to do with the choices you make about how to think, feel and act about reality.” — <a href="https://www.rogerkallen.com/how-to-become-emotionally-mature/">Roger K. Allen, PhD </a>

And illogical and messy and imperfect. Because all humans are. “We all have innate biases and prejudices. It’s impossible not to: we’re socialized into a stereotyping world. So what’s important is learning to cultivate an active awareness of these biases and prejudices, and examine how they might influence our decisions and actions. Ask yourself where you might be practicing discrimination (subtly or unsubtly), and how you can begin to counter these ingrained behaviors.” — Bruneau

2. The ability to recognize and admit when you're being biased.

This is the opposite of the above. Some of us struggle by wallowing too much in our emotions but giving them too much authority in our lives. Others struggle by denying our feelings altogether, which is impoverished in another way.

3. The ability to recognize and accept your own feelings and needs.

We are not victims of our own lives. People are not out to get you, or hurt you. The universe has not conspired to bring you down, break your heart, or make you sad. Life is only partly what happens to us, and mostly how we respond to it. We choose our reaction — and viewpoint. The difference between “sad” or emotionally impoverished people, and those who are emotionally strong, is not that nothing bad ever happened to the second group, but rather that they chose not to assume a passive role.

4. The ability to recognize that your feelings don’t run the show.

Being mature means stating what is acceptable to you and what you will and will not allow. Once you define that line, defend it. Don’t let anyone cross it. <a href="https://www.yourtango.com/self/signs-unhealthy-boundaries-kill-best-relationships">Boundaries are important </a>because when they are set, our character also sets, becoming more resistant to nonsense and drama. When someone charges ahead and breaks through our boundaries, we are compromised. Don’t kid yourself. We suffer emotionally and can sustain lifelong damage. Don’t assume people will know your limit either. It’s your job to tell them.

5. The ability to set healthy boundaries.

Think it through. “Through practicing mindfulness, we can increase the amount of time between feeling a particular emotion and reacting to it. We gain a sense of spaciousness with regard to how we observe our emotions — rather than clinging to our feelings immediately and reacting instinctively, we learn how to first observe, and then react more carefully and productively.” — Bruneau

6. The ability to pause between feeling and reacting.

“Between an event and your response is a moment, however fleeting, when you decide whether to surrender control and react automatically, or to interrupt a negative pattern and search out responses more in alignment with your long-term self-interest.” — Allen

“One does not fall in love; one grows into love, and love grows in him.” — <a href="https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/karl_a_menninger_158635">Karl Menninger </a> “Judgment is at the heart of hate. It is what fuels unhealthy relationships with ourselves and others. If you’ve learned or are learning how to be more compassionate, not just to others but also to yourself, you’re moving closer to enlightenment.” — Bruneau Everything is interconnected, and the energy we put out into the universe is a direct reflection of ourselves.

7. The capacity to love, when defined as compassion.

“Life is going to be full of problems. The acceptance of this allows mature people to stay calm and think more clearly during life’s more difficult moments. The whole process of meeting and solving problems is what gives life its deeper meaning. Mature people have established the emotional intelligence necessary to understand that life’s difficulties are the cutting edge of what distinguishes one from being a success or a failure.” “Tolerate feelings of discomfort long enough to find solutions to their problems. An immediate solution may represent gratification to many, but mature people know that the best solutions come with delaying the need to get rid of the problem quickly. The most lucrative solutions are found in the process of thinking through the problem.” — Campbell “Change is not always easy… Sometimes the most important adjustment is in our attitude.” — Kuehn

8. The tenacity to maintain to composure, have grit, and endure setbacks with grace.

“Tolerate feelings of discomfort long enough to find solutions to their problems. An immediate solution may represent gratification to many, but mature people know that the best solutions come with delaying the need to get rid of the problem quickly. The most lucrative solutions are found in the process of thinking through the problem.” — Campbell “Change is not always easy… Sometimes the most important adjustment is in our attitude.” — Kuehn

“A positive attitude comes naturally to the mature person… [and] keeps mature people in a state of harmony with themselves and others because from their vantage point there is a way to make every situation a win-win experience.” — Campbell Incidentally, one of the smaller, more specific <a href="https://www.yourtango.com/love/do-these-14-things-congrats-youre-in-real-mature-relationship">secrets to a lasting relationship </a>is: always assume the best of your partner.

9. The resilience to demonstrate positivity and optimism.

“Mature people live with high integrity. They are committed to knowing, hearing and working within the truth no matter how hurtful or stressful that truth may be. Mature people are also willing and committed to telling the truth even when it is humiliating and difficult for oneself or another. They have an open mind to hear counsel and to respond to reproof.” — Campbell

10. The capacity to uphold honesty and integrity.

“The mature are willing to tolerate feelings of discomfort long enough to find solutions to their problems. An immediate solution may represent gratification to many, but mature people know that the best solutions come with delaying the need to get rid of the problem quickly. The most lucrative solutions are found in the process of thinking through the problem.” — Campbell

11. The ability to practice self-control and delayed gratification.

“Mature people live with a <a href="https://www.yourtango.com/experts/deborahroth/5-ways-maintain-attitude-gratitude">natural feeling of thankfulness and appreciation </a>for the expansive range of people, events, and circumstances in their lives. Because maturity is based in responsibility, mature people live with higher levels of happiness and lower levels of depression and stress. The emotionally mature turn their happiness into sharing and generosity.

12. The ability to express humility and gratitude.

They offer helpful services to others as a way to spread their own wealth and joy in ways that circle back. When their giving circles back, the emotionally mature experience even deeper levels of pleasure, personal satisfaction, and gratitude for what they have been given in life to now gift back.” — Campbell

Not simply to respond or share your own grievances when they stop talking.

13. The capacity to listen in order to understand.

Ego is a major cause of misery in the world. (That, and unrealistic expectations, especially around our assumptions around change and control.) “Detach yourself from the situation.” — <a href="https://twitter.com/NadjaElfertasi">Nadja El Fertasi </a>

14. The ability to take a step back and not take it all so personally.

Because we assume that whatever someone said or did was a personal attack on us, we often retaliate in like kind. But this isn’t an emotionally mature response — especially given that we’re often wrong. Most of the things we assume are personal actually aren’t. “Arguments or difficult conversations get worse when you make the other person directly responsible.” — El Fertasi In summary... “Maturity is a choice for everyone. The more you value who you are and what you have to offer, the more responsible you will be in taking care of yourself.”

15. The ability to not make it personal when communicating with others.

As <a href="https://albertellis.org/about-albert-ellis-phd/">psychologist and psychotherapist Albert Ellis </a>said, “The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president… You control your own destiny.”

Emotional Maturity Is Key For Healthy Relationships Of Any Kind For The Rest Of Your Adult Life, So Finding Out How To Become Emotionally Mature If You're Not Quite There Yet Is Imperative.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

15 Things Emotionally Mature People Do

Ancient civilizations understood that principles govern human behavior. Remembering our common origin, reconnecting with our inner selves, and finding meaning wherever we go are a few ancient principles for human existence discovered by some of the wisest people on earth throughout human history.The more we strive to understand how these principles apply to our modern lives, the greater the sense of urgency we feel about them becoming a foundation for our existence once again.

20 Short Ancient Principles For Modern Living

Everyone wants a good life. No one wants to live a miserable existence, and no one wants to spend the rest of their days in regret and misery. A good life isn’t easy to achieve, but it is possible with the right knowledge and mindset. “Perfect wisdom has four parts: Wisdom, the principle of doing things right. Justice is the principle of doing things equally in public and private. Fortitude is the principle of not fleeing danger, but meeting it. Temperance is the principle of subduing desires and living moderately,” Plato said.

Living a good life is the first step to a happy, healthy future. If you have been looking for answers in life lately, here, you will find twenty ancient principles that may help you re-evaluate your present habits and behaviors and live life fully in the modern world.

<h3>Remember your mortality and limited life and choose to live immediately. “It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.”</h3><h3>-Marcus Aurelius</h3>

<h3>Want true freedom? Master your emotions and, ultimately yourself. “No man is free who is not master of himself.” </h3><h3>-Epictetus</h3>

king questions about your assumptions, emotions, and beliefs is key to upgrading your wisdom for life. “There is no greater delight than to be conscious of sincerity on self-examination.”-Mencius

Try not to live life in extremes — either in terms of emotion or behavior. This way, you’ll be able to cope with difficult situations calmly and rationally.

Change is a mindset game. “You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”-Marcus Aurelius

Tame your ego — It can impede self-discovery and personal growth. “Ego is the immediate dictate of human consciousness.”-Max Planck

Examine your life through reason (think, reflect and explore). “If passion drives you, let reason hold the reins. “-Benjamin Franklin

To resist many of life’s worries, build a mental fortress to prevent intrusion. Learn to control your responses to outside events.

How you live is your philosophy of life. Choose your actions carefully. “Don’t explain your philosophy. Embody it.” -Epictetus

Appreciate life — don’t take things for granted. The ancient Greeks believed that everything is temporary and that we should never take anything for granted — not our relationships, health or happiness.

A greater percentage of mental suffering is self-inflicted. Change the stories you tell yourself. “People are not disturbed by things, but by the view they take of them,”-Epictetus

Nurture and treasure authentic social connections — your happiness depends on them. “One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.”-Euripides

No amount of wealth can be compared to meaningful experiences. When you can, buy time for experiences that make you come alive.

To minimize stress and avoid burnout, seek to maintain a balance in your life — between work, home, and personal relationships. “Life is balance of holding on and letting go.”-Rumi

Cherish and embody the simple life. Pursue things in moderation. Anything in excess can easily become a source of misery.

Prosperity without wisdom becomes a source of suffering. “A prosperous fool is a grievous burden.”-Aeschylus

Keep asking yourself: Are all my present habits, routines and rituals necessary? “Ask yourself at every moment, ‘Is this necessary?’”-Marcus Aurelius

Embrace the inevitable human suffering — learn to thrive despite the many curveballs. The hardship is the way. “Our inward power, when it obeys nature, reacts to events by accommodating itself to what it faces — to what is possible.” -Marcus Aurelius

Pursue and stack knowledge for life. The ancient Greeks believed knowledge is the only power you need to lead a good life. This means making lifelong learning a habit.

<h3>Live in harmony with your environment. Reconnect with nature by making time for long walks, outdoor experiences or trying a new nature activity every quarter or year.</h3>

20 Ancient Principles To Succeed in Modern Living

If you've been looking for answers in life lately, here are 20 ancient principles that can help you re-evaluate your behaviors and succeed in the modern world.

20 Ancient Principles To Succeed In Modern Living | Hive

<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/42734244-no-hard-feelings">No Hard Feelings </a>is a practical book for better managing the emotional side of work and building the skills needed to enhance your performance both within your role and more broadly throughout your career path by finding motivation again and managing negative emotions.

Book Summary 

"Work provides us with a sense of purpose and can offer instant gratification in the form of praise, raises, and promotions. But the more we tie who we are to what we do, the more we emotionally attach to our jobs.

Author Quote

In today’s workplace, we’ve been taught to suppress our emotions and ignore them. We’re told that they don’t belong in the workplace, and if we feel something, we should just “get over it”. But that’s not how emotions work. They are a part of us at all times, whether we want them to be or not. Even though they may seem like an obstacle to success in your career or your personal life, they are actually an asset: they make us human beings who can connect with one another and empathize with others’ experiences. <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/42734244-no-hard-feelings">No Hard Feelings </a>teaches us how to use emotions to our advantage and deal with negative feelings that may stand in the way of our professional growth.

<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/42734244-no-hard-feelings">No Hard Feelings </a>teaches us how to use emotions to our advantage and deal with negative feelings that may stand in the way of our professional growth.

<ol><li>You can fix demotivation by taking time off, practicing self-care, and expressing your emotions.  </li><li>Emotions can be a great asset at work and in life if you know how to harness their power. </li><li>Companies that create an environment with room for feelings perform better over time. </li></ol>

Top 3 Lessons From The Vook

Whether we like it or not, <a href="https://fourminutebooks.com/how-emotions-are-made-summary/">emotions </a>are an essential part of how people interact with each other at work. In fact, research shows that most people experience <a href="https://fourminutebooks.com/anxiety-at-work-summary/">negative emotions at work </a>on a regular basis. This can have a negative impact on their performance and well-being. You can change that by being genuinely nice to your colleagues and showing emotion. Studies suggest that by doing so you contribute to a sense of belongingness and the humanization of the workplace.

Lesson 1:  Showing emotions to your co-workers and indulging in those PTO days can help you regain a sense of purpose  .

Leaders are crucial in developing authentic bonds at work within their teams by setting an example of how everyone should behave. Howard Schultz, the CEO of Starbucks, is known for expressing his emotions at work. However, if you do so, make sure not to seem fearful or vulnerable. Being authentic in your display is alright, as long as your team doesn’t become fearful of the future of the company. Always keep your professionalism and have a well-thought-out plan to showcase. Another important aspect of work is time off.

Americans rarely take paid time off and usually work multiple jobs or spend long hours in the office. Unfortunately, this leads to demotivation and burnout. Make sure to leave some time for self-care, vacations, and living life. It’ll benefit your work too!

Emotions are incredibly important for helping us make good decisions. They’re often the first thing that alerts us when something isn’t right—they help us detect danger and keep us safe. They also motivate us to act in ways that will help us achieve our goals. Studies suggest that <a href="https://fourminutebooks.com/emotional-agility-summary/">strong emotions, whether they’re good or bad, can help us make better decisions </a>as investors. They’re also great at alerting us whether something will benefit our career path or not. For example, if you had an unpleasant experience in a financial role it’s hunlikely that you’d take a new job in a similar position.

Lesson 2:  Emotions can help you make better decisions  .

It all boils down to our emotions helping us if we know how to leverage our power. In a nutshell, you have to filter the relevant emotions from the irrelevant ones. The first type is a source of information.  For example, the feeling of regret or <a href="https://fourminutebooks.com/the-happiness-trap-summary/">happiness </a>that comes with a new task can tell you whether you should take it or not. A migraine or boredom in a meeting are examples of irrelevant feelings that you should let go of while engaged in something.

Google conducted a study to determine which factors had the biggest impact on team performance, revealing that the most effective teams were the ones with increased psychological safety. So, why is that?  It seems that the science of psychology debunks it: teams who are friendly with each other, encourage unanimous contributions, value each member, and communicate with each other are the best contributors to a project.  People feel better in places where others value them. When you feel good, you perform well. It’s truly that simple! However, sometimes feeling like your best self in a team implies having <a href="https://fourminutebooks.com/difficult-conversations-summary/">awkward conversations </a>as well. Everyone hates being in an uncomfortable position, but sometimes having those conversations is better in the long run. If you have something to address, you need to learn how to put it out there, respectfully. Environments that facilitate these types of conversations are proven to have better results in the long run.

Lesson 3:  Organizations that foster learning and communicative environments are more successful in the long run  .

People feel better in places where others value them. When you feel good, you perform well. It’s truly that simple! However, sometimes feeling like your best self in a team implies having <a href="https://fourminutebooks.com/difficult-conversations-summary/">awkward conversations </a>as well. Everyone hates being in an uncomfortable position, but sometimes having those conversations is better in the long run. If you have something to address, you need to learn how to put it out there, respectfully. Environments that facilitate these types of conversations are proven to have better results in the long run.

<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/42734244-no-hard-feelings">No Hard Feelings </a>provides you with the tools to understand your own emotions and those of others, as well as how to communicate them effectively without compromising your professionalism. The book offers practical tips for managing anger, stress, and anxiety at work, while also providing guidance on how to regulate your emotions when faced with issues such as bullying or discrimination. The book is a must-read for anyone who wants to develop their emotional intelligence and want to avoid disrupting their work-life balance disrupted ever again.

No Hard Feelings - Book Review

The 33-year-old employee who used to love their job but lost their motivation on the way, the 45-year-old manager who wants to foster a more positive environment, or the 50-year-old who finds it difficult to keep up with new trends and younger generations at work and is starting to dislike their job deeply.

Who would I recommend the No Hard Feelings summary to?

No Hard Feelings summary is a practical book for better managing the emotional side of work & building the skills to enhance your performance.

career

Career

teamwork

Teamwork

No Hard Feelings Summary

Underperformance is frustrating, time-consuming, and demoralizing. Knowing how to turn around problematic behavior, letting go, and/or facing issues head-on is a skill. Outlined here key points how to approach these situations

How to help an Underperformer

Underperformance rarely resolve by themselves. More often, managers ignore the problem and resort to transferring the person somewhere or letting him stay put without doing anything. They only get more and more irritable and frustrated and push the person uncomfortable. If this problem arises, take step toward solving it as soon as possible.

1. Don't ignore the problem

Be objective and consider if the person is poor fit for the job, lacking the necessary skills, or misunderstood the expectations. Consider also that you might be contributing to the negative situation. Don't just focus on the underperformer, think about what changes you can make as well.

2. Consider what's causing the problem

Conduct a 360 review but do it carefully and confidentially. Your frustrations may be clouding your judgement where all you can see are the mistakes they are making. Make an honest effort to see what you're missing and look for evidence that proves your assumptions wrong.

3. Ask others what you might be missing

Once you've gathered the details, explain to the underperformer exactly what you're observing, describe how the team's work is affected, and make it clear that you want to help. Ask questions like, How do we get out of this? How do we improve? It's important to engage the person in brainstorming solutions. Don't expect immediate response, they may need time to digest your feedback.

4. Talk to the underperformer

You can't coach someone who doesn't agree that they need help. In the initial conversation- and throughout the intervention- the employee must acknowledge the problem. If they're not open to change, you have to make a decision whether you can live with the issue and at what cost. But if you see willing ness to change and genuine interest in improving, you can work together to turn things around.

5.a. Confirm that the person is coachable

When you decide to coach the underperformer:<ol><li>Make a plan - create a concrete and measurable plan for what the both of you will do differently. Agree on specific goals, resources needed, timeline, etc. Ask them how they feel with the plan.</li><li>Regularly monitor progress - Ask the person to check in regularly or agree how often you're going to check progress. It may be helpful to ask if there is anyone they can trust to provide feedback about how well they're doing in making these changes.</li></ol>

5.b. Confirm that the person is coachable

When you decide to coach the underperformer:3. Respect Confidentiality - while also letting others know  you're working on the underperformance problem, make sure to keep the specific details confidential. 4. Praise and reward positive changes - make clear that you've noticed developments and reward them accordingly. 5. If there isn't improvement, take action - If things don't get better, leace the coaching and get into consequences speech. Disciplinary actions, particularly letting someone go, shouldn't be taken liightly as it affects the org.

5.c. Confirm that the person is coachable

DO<ul><li>Take actions as soon as possible</li><li>Consider how you might be contributing to the performance issues</li><li>Make concrete and measurable plan for improvement</li></ul>Don't<ul><li>Assume the issue is resolved after one conversation</li><li>Try to coach someone who is unwilling to admit that there's an issue</li><li>Talk about specific performance issues with others on the team</li></ul>

6. Do's and Don'ts

Underperformers in the team will always exist, having a growth mindset means being able to communicate and give appropriate actions that is both useful to the team's goals and the individual. 

Take the stress out of giving feedback. To help your employees meet their goals and fulfill their potential, you need to provide them with regular feedback. But the prospect of sharing potentially negative news can be overwhelming. How do you construct your message so that it’s not only well received but also expressed in a way that encourages change? Whether you’re commending exemplary work or addressing problem behavior, the HBR Guide to Delivering Effective Feedback provides you with practical advice and tips to transform any performance discussion—from weekly check-ins to annual reviews—into an opportunity for growth and development. You’ll learn to: Establish trust with your direct reports Assess their performance fairly Emphasize improvement, even in criticism React calmly to a defensive feedback recipient Recognize and motivate star performers Create individualized development plans Arm yourself with the advice you need to succeed on the job, from a source you trust. Packed with how-to essentials from leading experts, the HBR Guides provide smart answers to your most pressing work challenges.

business

Business

HBR Guide to Delivering Effective Feedback (HBR Guide Series)

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15 Things Emotionally Mature People Do

20 Ancient Principles To Succeed In Modern Living | Hive

No Hard Feelings Summary

HBR Guide to Delivering Effective Feedback (HBR Guide Series)

Who are fake friends?

How To Turn Your Mess Into Your Message - 4 Steps

Life Changing Poems for Hard Times

It's time to Read like a Pro.

It's time to
Read like a Pro.