Life is a beautiful journey but sometimes it's impossible to avoid thinking that the grind of existence is so brutal there's no logical explanation thqn to assume that we're living in a stunning simulation...So, when a <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/zqsa06/what_do_you_consider_lifes_greatest_lie/">Reddit </a>user asked, "What do you consider life's greatest lie?" people were ready to debate the biggest myths, philosophies, or overall BS beliefs they refuse to follow. Credit scores are fake, right everyone?

That there is one person in the world that is perfect for you. - <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Spodson/">Spodson </a>

“Follow your heart” as advice in general. The heart always does you dirty. - <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Huge-Comfort376/">Huge-Comfort376 </a>

That you stop getting zits when you hit your 20s. It never stops. - <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Iamalienmarmoset/">Iamalienmarmoset </a>

Life's greatest lie is that we can control everything. We often think that if we try hard enough or plan ahead enough, we can control the outcome of every situation. The truth is, life is unpredictable and we don't have complete control over what happens to us. We must learn to accept the things we can't control and focus on the things we can. - <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Pikafreeze/">Pikafreeze </a>

That being an adult is fun - BammyQ2

Going to college = success. The fact that so many people go to college, get their degree, and then get a job that has nothing to do with their degree - Frobromojo

Money can't buy happiness - Thoraxe474

“Live every day like it’s your last.” DON’T DO THAT!!! - Sunny64888

Hard work = good life. - iammeanbecauseiamsad

The belief that life is fair is a lie, and it's a particularly toxic lie, because people who believe life is fair tend to believe that everything which appears like injustice must actually be secretly fair somehow, and so they rationalize injustice. - Bizarre_Protuberance

"But I still want to be friends." No you don't. - HumpieDouglas

You must go to college, get a job, find a partner, buy a house, retire and die. That formula and the expectations that it puts on us is the basis for so much loss. All that matters is the time we have left and how often we get to spend with those that love us. - OtterLakeBC1918

That other adults have it all together. No, just no. Everyone has some part of their life that is a sh*t show. - Violentflatus

The one where your parents are infallible. You don't realize it until you get older or become a parent. They were holding it all together by the skin of their teeth just like I am. - potatoboat

That I'm the most handsome boy in the whole wide world. Wrong again mom - nthroop1

16 People Share What They Consider To Be 'Life's Greatest Lie.'

Life is a beautiful journey, but sometimes it&#39;s impossible to avoid thinking that the grind of existence is so brutal there&#39;s no logical explanation than to assume we&#39;re all living in a stunning simulation...  So, when a Reddit...

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

philosophy

Philosophy

mindfulness

Mindfulness

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

mentalhealth

Mental Health

16 people share what they consider to be 'life's greatest lie.'

<a href="https://giovannispezia.com/2022/12/17/how-to-start-meditating-the-easy-way/">Meditation</a>, like every other important skill, requires time put into it to achieve mastery. The most important, and not understood thing you'll have to do is to just show up to practice, even if it is just for 5, 3 minutes, or 60 seconds: show up to practice each day of the week, and this may soon change your life.

The Mistake Everyone Makes

The reason why, despite knowing the right things to do, you indulge in bad habits anyway is because of your lizard brain.Meditation reduces the power of the lizard brain and <a href="https://giovannispezia.com/2022/05/29/the-magic-of-thinking-big/">strengthens the power of your growth one.</a>

The Untold Benefit of Meditation

<ol><li>It all starts with the realization of unmindfulness. This is when you realize your mind has wandered off: it will inevitably happen during the practice as well as throughout the day.</li><li>After acknowledging the mind wandering off, you must reconcentrate on the present moment (this can be done with a meditation anchor like your breath, or the sounds around you). Doing this will secure your progress.</li><li>The cycle then repeats itself until the end of your practice.</li></ol>

How to Meditate Properly

Meditation is a form of mental training that can help you <a href="https://giovannispezia.com/2022/06/26/overcome-stress/">develop a better relationship with your thoughts and emotions.</a> It also helps you feel more connected with the world around you, which makes finding happiness easier.However, since we can’t wrap what meditation is in one sentence only, we should, by bringing clarity to what it is not, create space for what it can be:

Defining Meditation

Meditating is not about judging or avoiding thoughts, what it is all about is watching the thoughts as they come, acknowledging them, and gently letting them go.

Meditation Is Neither Past Nor Future

Try to <a href="https://giovannispezia.com/2022/12/14/what-you-do-shapes-who-you-are/">practice bringing mindfulness to various moments</a> in your day: while you brush your teeth, walk, commute to work...You can simply do this by being mindful of your breath, the sounds around you, the smells...

Meditation Isn’t Remote

If you're interested in the topics of personal development, mindset, and both physical and mental well-being, then you may want to follow me on:<ul><li><a href="https://giovannispezia.com/">GiovanniSpezia.com</a></li><li><a href="https://giovannispezia.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the Read Smart Newsletter!</a></li><li><a href="https://www.instagram.com/giovannispezia.com_/">Instagram</a></li><li><a href="https://twitter.com/GiovaSpezia">Twitter</a></li><li><a href="https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100083426195086">Facebook</a></li><li><a href="https://www.pinterest.it/Giovanni_Spezia/">Pinterest</a></li></ul>All the support is very much appreciated 🫶

Thank You For Reading This Far

In this article, I’m going to explain to you what ‘meditating’ really means. I will do this by covering the different aspects of it, as well as giving you a proper opening to start this amazing practice.

Introduction In this article, I'm going to explain to you what 'meditating' really means. I will do this by covering the different aspects of it, as well as giving you a proper opening to start this amazing practice. The Mistake Everyone Makes The grand majority of guys starting meditation don't know what meditation really is…

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

health

Health

meditation

Meditation

How to Start Meditating (The Best Way)

با تاکید می‌گویم که اگر این درد به سادگی قابل وصف بود، افراد بی‌شماری که درگیر این بیماری باستانی‌اند، می‌توانستند با خاطری جمع بخشی ار ابعاد عذابشان را برای دوستان و نزدیکان و حتی پزشکانشان، آشکار کنند و شاید درک متقابلی را که فقدانش همواره احساس شده، به وجود آوردند.

How does a writer compose a suicide note? This was not a question that the prize-winning novelist William Styron had ever contemplated before. In this true account of his depression, Styron describes an illness that reduced him from a successful writer to a man arranging his own destruction. He lived to give us this gripping description of his descent into mental anguish, and his eventual success in overcoming a little-understood yet very common condition.The unabridged text of Darkness Visibleby William StyronVINTAGE MINIS- GREAT MINDS. BIG IDEAS. LITTLE BOOKS.A series of short books by the world's greatest writers on the experiences that make us humanAlso in the Vintage Minis series-Swimming by Roger DeakinBabiesby Anne EnrightCalm by Tim ParksWork by Joseph Heller

books

Books

How does a writer compose a suicide note? This was not a question that the prize-winning novelist William Styron had ever contemplated before. In this true account of his depression, Styron describes an illness that reduced him from a successful writer to a man arranging his own destruction. He lived to give us this gripping description of his descent into mental anguish, and his eventual success in overcoming a little-understood yet very common condition. The unabridged text of Darkness Visible by William Styron VINTAGE MINIS: GREAT MINDS. BIG IDEAS. LITTLE BOOKS. A series of short books by the world's greatest writers on the experiences that make us human Also in the Vintage Minis series: Swimming by Roger Deakin Babies by Anne Enright Calm by Tim Parks Work by Joseph Heller

William Styron

Depression

It’s normal to feel frustrated with your <a href="https://www.fatherly.com/life/how-to-be-a-better-partner">partner </a>from time to time. Hell, we’d even go as far as to say that it’s weird to never feel frustrated with them. <a href="https://www.fatherly.com/life/damn-good-marriage-advice">Marriage </a>can be frustrating. When two people live together, coping with bills, mortgages, kids, schedules, in-laws, mouth breathing, weird snacking, and everything in between, one person will inevitably drive the other one a bit nuts. But frustration can quickly deteriorate into <a href="https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/how-to-let-go-of-resentment">resentment </a>or full-on <a href="https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/anger-management-tools-therapists-pissed/">anger </a>. So, the trick becomes understanding how to deal with frustration in a healthy way.

“It is normal for everyone to feel frustrated with their partner,” says <a href="https://www.cheritimko.com/">Cheri Timko </a>, a Couples Relationship Coach. “Part of living together is navigating how to be two people with different personalities and still live together peacefully.” How we handle the differences can greatly influence other parts of the relationship, so it is important to be particularly aware in these situations. “When they are handled poorly,” Timko adds, “it can lead to anger and resentment for both partners. When done well, situations of frustration can help build and strengthen your bond.”

Before you let your frustration get the better of you, take a moment and try to take some of this expert advice.

This is age-less advice for a reason. It can be very easy to get so consumed by your own frustration that you’re only able to see how it affects you. But if you try to take a look at the situation from your partner’s side and ask yourself how you might feel, or how you might react, and chances are you’ll be in a better place.

1. Put Yourself In Their Shoes

“Think of how this situation is related to other situations for your partner,” adds Timko. “This is not your interpretation, but what you know they would say if they explained it to you.” If you are stuck, Timko suggests writing a letter from them to you explaining their experience in the situation.

Why? Because how else are you going to get to the root of your frustration? The key is calm. Talk to your partner and ask them to explain the reasoning behind their actions and emotions. Listen and ask questions to try and gain some understanding. “It is important that you choose a good time to ask so you both stay calm,” Timko says. “You may not get the opportunity to describe your part, but knowing what is happening for your partner will help you deal with it better.”

2. Ask For Their Input

If you’ve been with someone long enough, you usually can start to tell when things are going badly. When you sense a tense situation beginning to brew, it might be wiser to try and nip the argument in the bud before it gets worse. “Know ahead of time what are the signs and symptoms that your frustration and irritation are growing and what you need to do to manage them,” says Timko. Calling a timeout and returning to a conversation when you’ve cooled down (and actually re-engaging with it) is always an excellent strategy.

3. Have a Plan

It’s always good to remember that you and your spouse are playing the long game. Sometimes you may have to give more in a certain situation and other times, it’s your partner who will have to put their feelings aside to focus on you. If you are both in it together, you can navigate these bumps in the road and keep your focus on the longevity of your partnership. “Every relationship has times when one partner puts in more,” says Timko. “You may need to be the bigger person in this situation. As hard as it is, it is an investment in the future of the relationship.”

4. Take a Big Picture View

When tensions are running high, someone is going to say or do something that will set one or both of you off. Wait until you’ve both cooled off to address what it is that’s frustrating you. “Choose the time to discuss your frustrations carefully,” says Timko. “Bad times are when your partner is busy with other things, before work or bed, or when either of you are frustrated or exhausted. If this is all of the time, you might have a bigger problem in the relationship than just the situation that is irritating you.”

5. Talk to Your Partner — When You’re Calm

You can’t control how your partner behaves, but you can control your own reaction to their behavior. If they’re doing something or saying something that frustrates you, and you let it get you to the point where you yourself fly off the handle, then you’ve only made the situation worse. “You are responsible for bringing your best self to as many situations as possible,” says Timko. “For many people, managing your own emotions is something they consider as a bare minimum in a relationship.”

6. Govern Your Own Feelings

Being aware of what’s happening around you — and understanding that, oh, you or your partner might be stressed because of X and Y factors —n can help you approach a stressful situation more rationally. “We are at our worst when something big is changing in our lives,” Timko says. “It is important that you keep a careful watch for how these things are affecting you so you don’t let the frustration build.”

7. Consider Outside Influences

Frustration can sometimes build to a point where you and your partner can’t stand to be in the same space. However, even when two people get to that point, they continue to battle it out, talking and arguing until tempers flare and things are said that both partners regret. Before you reach that point, take a moment to step away and get clear. Go for a run, engage in a solo activity or just find a quiet spot to gather your thoughts.

8. Take Some Space — And Use Your Words

It’s important that you calmly let your partner know that you’re taking space and why you’re doing it. “Verbally explaining what you’re doing can be extremely helpful for a partner who may easily jump to conclusions or assume the worst if you temporarily disappear–either emotionally or physically,” explains marriage and family therapist <a href="https://ambertrueblood.com/">Amber Trueblood. </a>

Very often, we tend to lay the blame for our feelings solely at the feet of our partner. They become the source for all of our frustration, irritation, and anger. We say things like, “She always does this,” or “He never listens.” In the worst case scenarios, we might start to think, “If I wasn’t with him/her, everything would be better.” The truth is, while our partner may be frustrating, the level of frustration we take it to is a result of the tape loop that plays in our own heads.

9. Recognize Your Own Narrative

Does your partner really always do something? Do they really never listen? “Once you can identify these narratives, you have the power to challenge them,” says <a href="https://www.aspenrelationshipcoaching.com/podcast">Lori Ann Kret, </a>a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. “You can choose to look for the exceptions; those moments when your partner really does show up for you in the way that you need them to.”

9 Things To Do When You're Feeling Frustrated With Your Partner

It's natural to feel frustrated. What matters is how you deal with that frustration. Here are nine productive things to do when you're annoyed with your partner

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Learning & Education

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Communication

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

Limerence is a state of infatuation or obsession with another person that involves an all-consuming passion and intrusive thoughts.It is often a result of not being present either through trauma or certain childhood development issues. Alternatively, you may experience it when you are run down, if you haven’t had enough sleep for example, and are lacking serotonin. So, you fantasize that someone else could save you and crystallize those thoughts into a golden image of 'the one.'

Limerence Involves Intrusive Thoughts

Here are a couple of ways that the two are frustratingly similar. <ul><li>You are drawn to a certain person. Confusing hardly does it justice. When you’re in limerence with someone, it’s similar to falling in love. The attraction is real. It is a form of infatuation which can mirror the early stages of falling in love where you obsessively think about the other person.</li><li>It can happen with anyone, anytime. You never know when you’re about to fall in love and it can happen with the most implausible people. As it turns out, limerence is the same. </li></ul>

Limerence vs. Love: Similarities

The main difference here is that love requires a real, meaningful connection with another person, while limerence is all about the chase and lusting after someone.<ul><li>Limerence is the feeling that the object of their desire will complete them. This can be a form of trauma bonding where one person is seeking to be 'saved' by another.</li><li>The limerent person is desperate to have the object no matter whether it is good for either of them and they may idealize them</li><li>Seeing a bunch of red flags and ignoring them? You might be in limerence. </li><li>You neglect your own needs for them. </li><li>There could be an underlying reas<warningtag>on that your default is limerence. Deep down the limerent person may be afraid of genuine connection and may be more comfortable with the distance. There may be psychological reasons and fear why they prefer obsessing over connecting.</warningtag></li></ul>

Limerence vs. Love: Differences

A collection of ideas for changing your attitude and overcoming unwanted intrusive thoughts

problemsolving

Problem Solving

How to Cope With Intrusive Thoughts

Limerence: the state of infatuation or obsession with another person that involves an all-consuming passion and intrusive thoughts.

What is limerence? A therapist defines limerence, explains how it compare to love, and what to do if you are falling in limerence.

Limerence vs. Love: What's the Difference?

Limerence and Intrusive Thoughts

<ul><li>One of the core principles of mindfulness is learning how to calmly observe your thoughts, without judging or becoming emotionally tangled up in them.</li><li>This can make it a great way to cope with intrusive thoughts because you’re not denying that the thoughts are present — just changing your relationship with them.</li><li>You don’t need any special equipment to start meditating, just a few spare moments, and somewhere quiet to practice, if possible.</li><li>There are also lots of meditation apps available, with courses specifically geared toward beginners and people living with intrusive thoughts, that may help yo<warningtag>u.</warningtag></li></ul>

Mindfulness meditation

<ul><li>CBT is a type of psychotherapy that can be effective for all kinds of thought disorders.</li><li>It can be especially helpful for intrusive thoughts that become obsessive because it helps to create distance between a person and their thoughts.</li><li>CBT is based on the idea that our thought patterns can be unlearned or changed. A CBT therapist can work with you to identify your intrusive thoughts, process them, and reframe them so that they aren’t as powerful.</li></ul>

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)

<ul><li>This is a simple but powerful mantra that may help you to regain perspective.</li><li>When an intrusive thought occupies your brain, it can sometimes feel like it will never go away. But thoughts are always temporary, and there is no such thing as a permanent state of mind.</li><li>Identifying a mantra like “This too shall pass,” or “My thoughts are temporary” could be helpful in reducing their power.</li></ul>

Remember, ‘This too shall pass’

Visualizing your thoughts can allow you to feel more in control of them.For example, you could picture your mind as a blue sky, and your thoughts as passing clouds. Some of the clouds are light, and some dark, but none of them are permanent.This is a mindfulness technique known as thought clouds, but it can be used outside of meditation practice.

Visualization techniques

Animals can be incredibly calming to an anxious mind. They have no understanding of our complex, troubled thoughts, so they can provide distraction and uncomplicated emotional support.In addition, animal-assisted therapy for trauma is becoming more common.

Spend time with a pet

Our brains can be incredibly good at telling us stories that feel like reality. So, an intrusive thought can take on outsized power when it only exists in your mind.Consider externalizing the thought, by journaling or even just speaking it out loud, and see whether the impact of it changes.

Externalize the thought

Intrusive thoughts can often lead you to focus on the negative and create stories that aren’t based on reality. Without even realizing it, you may be spending a lot of your time living in the past, or obsessing about the future.Focusing on the present moment can be a powerful way to manage this. Grounding techniques that can help you center your focus may include:<ul><li>deep breathing</li><li>active meditation</li><li>body scan meditation.</li></ul>

Ground yourself in the present

According to the American Psychological Association, there’s a lot of evidence that spending time in nature can boost mental health and sharpen cognitive abilities.Taking a walk or jog in a green space can help you to break a cycle of rumination, by engaging your body and your senses in a way that gets your mind off your thoughts.

Take a walk in nature

Not all of these tips will be practical in every situation. But one thing you can always try to do is reframe the intrusive thought you’re having.Consider observing your thoughts without judgment, and approaching them with curiosity by turning your attention to how your body responds to certain thoughts that may arise.Distressing thoughts could be your brain’s way of processing something.

Approach the thought with curiosity

Becoming aware of your intrusive thought patterns is the first step toward breaking the cycle.

If you experience intrusive thoughts, you’re not alone. Coping strategies are available to help you create distance between you and the thoughts.

9 Ways to Cope With Intrusive Thoughts

<ul><li>These thoughts and images are unwanted and often unpleasant. The content can sometimes be aggressive or sexual, or you could suddenly think about a mistake or a worry.</li><li>You might feel distressed when this happens, but having an intrusive thought once in a while is a typical part of life.</li><li>In most cases, intrusive thoughts do not have any particular meaning. As long as you recognize that these are only thoughts, and you have no desire to act on them, intrusive thoughts are not harmful.</li><li>However, if they’re happening often, causing significant concern, or interfering with your daily activities, it’s a<warningtag> good idea to talk with a doctor.</warningtag></li></ul>

Intrusive thoughts seem to come out of nowhere

Some people may have intrusive thoughts about:<ul><li>germs, infections, or other kinds of contamination</li><li>violent acts, aggression, or causing harm to other people</li><li>doubts about doing tasks wrong or leaving tasks unfinished</li><li>religion, blasphemy, or being an immoral person</li><li>sexual acts or situations</li><li>acting out or saying the wrong thing in public</li></ul>It’s also possible to have other types of intrusive thoughts that do not fit into these categories.Sometimes, people who experience intrusive thoughts become worried about what they mean. This can lead to someone trying to control or stop the thoughts. People may also fe<warningtag>el ashamed and want to keep them secret from others. Keep in mind that the image or thought might be disturbing, but it does not usually have a particular meaning.</warningtag>

Types of intrusive thoughts

It’s common to have an intrusive thought every once in a while. In fact, it happens to almost everyone.Although intrusive thoughts are usually nothing to worry about, sometimes they can start to interfere with your daily life.People who feel fear or guilt about their intrusive thoughts, or feel like they need to take action to control the thoughts, may be experiencing something more serious. If that’s the case, it’s a good idea to talk with a doctor.

Are intrusive thoughts normal?

Intrusive thoughts may not have a cause. They can just happen randomly. Some thoughts wander into your brain. Then just as quickly, they exit, leaving no lasting impression.Less commonly, intrusive thoughts are related to an underlying mental health condition, like obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). These thoughts could also be a symptom of another health issue, such as:<ul><li>brain injury</li><li>dementia</li><li>Parkinson’s disease</li></ul>Signs that there might be an underlying cause include intrusive thoughts that:<ul><li>last longer than a brief moment</li><li>continue to pop back into your head</li><li><warningtag>cause distress over time</warningtag></li><li><warningtag>make you feel like you need to control your thoughts.</warningtag></li></ul>

What causes intrusive thoughts?

<ul><li>Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): you’ll work with a therapist to learn ways of thinking that can help you become less sensitive to intrusive thoughts. In a controlled setting, your therapist may also expose you to triggers for your intrusive thoughts so you can learn to react to them differently.</li><li>Medication. Sometimes, medications are used to treat conditions like OCD and PTSD. </li><li>Self-care. A good step toward treating intrusive thoughts is recognizing what they are: just thoughts. You can learn to label them when they happen and recognize that thoughts are not the same as intent or behavior. </li></ul>

How to manage intrusive thoughts

Intrusive thoughts are unexpected images or thoughts that seem to pop into your head.

Intrusive thoughts can be unexpected and upsetting. Learn why we have intrusive thoughts, when they may become a problem, and how to manage them.

Why Do We Have Intrusive Thoughts?

<ul><li>It seems to come out of nowhere — a strange, disturbing thought or a troubling image that pops into your mind. It might be violent or sexual, or a recurring fear that you’ll do something inappropriate or embarrassing. Whatever the content, it’s often unsettling and may bring on feelings of worry or shame. The more you try to push the thought from your mind, the more it persists.</li><li>Sometimes intrusive thoughts are associated with a mental health disorder. They are also common in post-traumatic stress disorder. But many people who experience these thoughts don’t have a mental health disorder.</li><li>Intrus<warningtag>ive thoughts are often triggered by stress or anxiety. They may also be a short-term problem brought on by biological factors, such as hormone shifts. </warningtag></li></ul>

Intrusive thoughts

While intrusive thoughts may be disturbing, they aren’t harmful or a sign that you have a secret desire to do the things that popped into your mind.People are often too embarrassed or ashamed to talk about it.

What intrusive thoughts mean

There are some signs to look for:<ul><li>The thought is unusual for you. An intrusive thought is usually very different from your typical thoughts. </li><li>The thought is bothersome, something you want to push out of your mind.</li><li>The thought feels hard to control. Intrusive thoughts are often repetitive and won’t go away.</li></ul>When these thoughts emerge, try taking the following steps:<ol><li>Identify the thought as intrusive. </li><li>Don’t fight with it. When you have an intrusive thought, just accept it. </li><li>Don’t judge yourself. Know that having a strange or disturbing thought doesn’t indicate that something is wrong with you.</li></ol>

Identifying intrusive thoughts

See a mental health professional if unwanted thoughts are starting to disrupt your daily life, particularly if they’re impairing your ability to work or to do things you enjoy. However, even if intrusive thoughts aren’t affecting your life in a significant way, you can still see someone to get help.Intrusive thoughts can also be managed by addressing the underlying problem, such as anxiety, stress, or a personal history of trauma. While it may be helpful to share the particular thoughts you are having, keep in mind that even if you aren’t comfortable talking about them in detail, a therapist c<warningtag>an still help. </warningtag>

When to seek help

How to identify and manage intrusive thoughts.

Intrusive thoughts are unwanted thoughts or mental images that make people feel uncomfortable. They're common, affecting some six million Americans, and can be effectively managed using tools such as cognitive behavioral therapy.

Managing intrusive thoughts - Harvard Health

How to identify intrusive thoughts

<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/44525766-loserthink">Loserthink </a>talks about the sabotaging thinking habits that run our minds and paralyze us when it comes to taking charge of life, and how we can overcome them with small, incremental steps that drive powerful change.

Book Summary 

"Every skill you acquire doubles your odds of success."

Author Quot

There are many ways in which we can fall victim to our negative emotions and self-sabotaging thoughts. These habits can lead us to make bad decisions, be less effective at work, and even lose out on opportunities. One of the first things to do when you suspect you may be falling into a pattern of loser thinking is to take an honest look at your current situation. Think about what is causing you stress, what makes you unhappy, and why it is that things never seem to work out for you.

Book Overview 

Then, it’s time to start thinking about what changes need to be made in order for your life to improve. You should ask yourself whether or not there are any steps or actions that could be taken in order for things to get better.  Scott Adams’ <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/44525766-loserthink">Loserthink </a>will not only teach you how to spot <a href="https://fourminutebooks.com/get-out-of-your-head-summary/">negative thinking habits </a>but also how to overcome them.

Scott Adams’ <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/44525766-loserthink">Loserthink </a>will not only teach you how to spot <a href="https://fourminutebooks.com/get-out-of-your-head-summary/">negative thinking habits </a>but also how to overcome them.

<ol><li>Use your apparently negative traits as tools to upgrade yourself. </li><li>The past is not an indicator of the future, and grand projects might not be so scary if you break them down into simple steps. </li><li>Ditch the victim mentality and start seeing the opportunities in people and yourself without criticizing or judging. </li></ol>I know, these lessons don’t sound as if they’re bringing something new to the table, but trust me, once you take them one by one, you’ll be surprised to find out how they can improve your life.

Top 3 Lessons From Book

There is a lot of <a href="https://fourminutebooks.com/how-to-think-more-effectively-summary/">unproductive thinking </a>that goes on in the world. Most of us fall victim to it at one time or another. The first step in dealing with this problem is recognizing that we are not victims and that there are certain habits we can change if we want to stop being so negative. Have you ever wondered why certain people always look so well put-together, so content, and professional? Well, they might be wondering the same about other people! The truth is, we’re all putting up a show.

Lesson 1: Even seemingly negative characteristics of yours can help you advance in life.

Successful people, like anybody else, have gaps in their knowledge, moments where they doubt themselves, and deal with the impostor syndrome at times. However, they don’t let these negative thoughts take charge of who they are. Just like them, you too can use your <a href="https://fourminutebooks.com/ego-friendly-summary/">ego </a>to upgrade your spirit and change your behavior. It all boils down to body language, a good posture, and a confident tone. You rule your own mind and body, not vice-versa, so use your ego to boost yourself.

The first thing you notice when you look at your past is where you stand in that situation. This comes naturally for our brain, as it’s one of the mechanisms we use to prepare for the future. We think that patterns are indicators, but the truth is that it doesn’t always work like that. Past events don’t necessarily repeat themselves, but we fail to think so when we remember them. That’s because we are subjective in our memories and our brain is wired to stay in the risk-free zone. Naturally, the decision we draw is that we won’t engage in new and exciting situations, due to past failures.

Lesson 2:  Don’t think of the past as a future reference, and don’t let big projects scare you  .

Another negative thinking cycle we engage in is thinking that <a href="https://fourminutebooks.com/making-ideas-happen-summary/">big projects </a>are exhausting or undoable, which is why we never start them. However, psychology suggests that this is yet another brain mechanism that we use to stay in our comfort zone. If we break down big projects into micro-steps, the chances of achieving the end goal grow significantly. Why? Because as humans, our readiness to start working on small, achievable projects is much bigger than if we’re facing a huge objective.

So, next time you have a bigger goal to target, think of it as a series of small projects with a deadline. You can use this approach to any project, big or small. Whether you’re trying to wake up earlier or open up a small start-up, this trick will help you manage your time and stress better.

Our brain has a collection of unproductive thinking habits that get in the way of success. One thing that we do is get anchored in negative thinking habits, like <a href="https://fourminutebooks.com/the-undoing-project-summary/">biases </a>and assumptions.  Sometimes we fail to recognize that some people are truly great, and we have a lot to learn from them. Why? Well, it could be that our brain associates them with someone we don’t like from the past, or that we are judging them based on their physical features.

Lesson 3:  Clear up your thoughts and always clarify them with people when you have assumptions or misunderstandings  .

Confirmation bias is an example of loserthink, where we look for and interpret information in a way that confirms our current beliefs or hypotheses. Over-generalization is another example, where we draw broad conclusions from too little evidence.  To move past these biases, always ask a person for clarification and try to look beyond their appearance. Try not to be judgemental and be open to communication, while learning from everybody around you.

<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/44525766-loserthink">Loserthink </a>examines the various ways in which we engage in unproductive thinking habits. The book covers topics such as: <ul><li>How to identify when you’re engaging in loserthink </li><li>How to avoid loserthink in your daily life </li><li>How to recognize when someone else is engaging in loserthink </li> </ul>The book manages to pull us out of this negative loop by pointing out these aspects and teaching us how to correct them.

Loserthink - Book Review

The 24-year-old person who is dealing with negative self-talk, the 33-year-old person who is suffering from burnout from a job that doesn’t bring them happiness and wants to change their life, or the 40-year-old coach who wants to learn what to tell people to change their life.

Who would I recommend the Loserthink to?

Loserthink summary talks about the sabotaging thinking habits that run our minds and how we can overcome them with small, incremental steps.

Loserthink Summary

There is nothing worse than being forced to deal with a toxic person against your will. When you think about the word "toxic," associated words like "poison" can come up. Toxic people are harmful to everyone they are around and the places they frequent. The mere presence of a toxic person in your life can be devastating!

A person that has been labeled as "toxic" exhibits bad behaviors that hurt others or impact them negatively. They are good at manipulating people for their own self-interests. Many people who behave in a toxic way have experienced trauma themselves or <a href="https://www.yourtango.com/experts/nancy-carbone/signs-emotional-abuse-trauma-bonding-relationship-mistaken-love">been exposed to a toxic relationship </a>. Instead of addressing their issues in a healthy manner, they start showing toxic traits. Toxic people don’t know how to deal with the internal stress in a normal and functional way, so they become unpleasant, inflicting the pain they have been subjected to onto others.

What does it mean to be toxic?

You will know when you’ve encountered a toxic person because you will leave feeling worse than you did upon arrival. But there is a difference between being toxic and having toxic behaviors. Toxic people in your life, such as family members and friends, can do extreme damage to your mental and emotional wellbeing. Spending time in long-term relationships with them can cause you to act out the same behaviors.

Sometimes, you might not realize that you, yourself, are a toxic person. But just because you are toxic now doesn’t mean you have to stay that way. Recognizing the signs of a toxic personality can help you overcome your own pitfalls and have healthy relationships.

20 Signs You’re A Toxic Person

If you tend to leave people worse off than you found them, you might be toxic. If your actions frequently make others feel bad, the common denominator is you.

1. You make people feel bad.

No one wants to be around a person they cannot stand. If family and friends always make excuses when you invite them to places, you may be the problem.

2. People avoid you at all costs.

If you believe you are the smartest person in every room you enter, you are likely toxic. People who are toxic have a need to be better than everyone else and <a href="https://www.yourtango.com/2020333349/symptoms-signs-superiority-complex-someone-you-know">carry a superiority complex </a>everywhere they go.

3. You have a superiority complex.

You see others are pawns, there to bend to your will. You believe you know what is best for everyone and are unwilling to hear any alternatives.

4. You're controlling.

You like to use emotional blackmail to get your way. You might threaten to harm yourself or go away in an attempt to spur action from other people. This is toxicity at its finest.

5. You're emotionally manipulative.

You can be caught in the act of doing something absolutely egregious. Instead of admitting fault and apologizing, you play the blame game and deflect.

6. You lack accountability.

Passive-aggressiveness is a flashing neon sign when it comes to toxic people. You never say what you mean or mean what you say. It’s hard for people to know where they stand with you because you are two-faced.

7. You're passive-aggressive.

Everything in your life that goes wrong is blamed on an external force. You never take responsibility for your actions or learn from the mistakes of your past. Instead, you see life as unfair and yourself as the victim.

8. You take no responsibility.

If you’ve ever heard someone say, “a listening ear is near a running mouth,” no doubt they have been exposed to the wrath of a toxic person. With no loyalty to anyone, toxic folks have no problem sharing your secrets with whoever will listen to them, no matter how damaging.

9. You talk behind people’s backs.

20 Signs You're An Extremely Toxic Person & Are Difficult To Be Around 

Am I Toxic? If You Notice That People Can't Stand To Be Around You, Or Your Behavior Is Off-putting, You Might Be A Toxic Person. Luckily, There Are Ways To Change That.

20 Signs You're An Extremely Toxic Person & Are Difficult To Be Around

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Loserthink Summary

20 Signs You're An Extremely Toxic Person & Are Difficult To Be Around

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