Available or Attractive?

Living single in your early 30s can feel either terrifying or exhilarating—like you’re untouchable one moment and questioning everything the next.  

FREEDOM impacts each of us differently. Some people thrive in solitude, while others feel most free within a secure relationship. As I write this, I’m reminded that freedom is one of my core values—one I fiercely protect.  

If freedom matters to you, you’ve probably felt that internal alarm when it’s threatened. This makes dating in our 30s feel tougher than in our 20s—we know ourselves better, and we’re more aware of what’s at stake: our values.

People who prioritize their freedom aren’t immediately available. Yet somehow, that makes them immediately more attractive.  

I’ve been on both sides—drawn to unavailable men and being the unavailable one for men who wanted me. Both experiences taught me the same lesson, which became a firm belief: It’s not unavailability itself that’s attractive, but someone’s ability to stand by their values.

So I wonder: Are we really drawn to them, or to the self-respect and loyalty one embodies —qualities we wish we had more of ourselves?